The Secret of Silence
by Tokyo Nightingale
Summary: Hisoka's feeling a little under-the-weather, and Tsuzuki uses the wonder of a Christmas snow fall to give the comfort words just can't express. Fluffy one-shot.


Title: The Secret of Silence  
  
Warnings: Mild angst, very innocently mild shounen-ai content  
  
Pairings: Hintings of Hisoka x Tsuzuki - not intentional, but I couldn't help it ^^;;  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. Hence the FAN part in FAN-fiction. Not making a dime off of this - if I were, I'd just blow it on anime and French fries, anyway. Don't have a dime worth suing for, either (damn the people who thought up movie theatres and Chinese food!) I don't mean it. I love you all. Johnny Depp and Chicken Teriyaki's what saves me from POD and band.  
  
A/N: I've been home sick all week, which means I've rediscovered the wonders of television. And all the sitcom re-runs I've mindlessly ingested over the past few days have had a definite Christmas theme to them. And, since my mom's religiously maintaining the household temp. at a brisk 52 degrees F (as far as she's concerned, October is too soon to turn on the heat no matter how cold it is), and my neighbors think Halloween is a valid excuse to start breaking out the Christmas lights, I've somehow ended up in the untimely holiday spirit. And hence this fic was born 0.o Please R/R - I can't afford to go see "Pirates" for a fourth time OR get Chinese, so reviews are my only salvation ^^  
  
UPDATED: I took out the 'kun's and 'san's following Merigold's advice. Thanks, Merigold ^^;;  
  
Dedication: To anyone who's ever had to face a dark hour alone in silence. Take comfort in knowing there's more of us out here, and even the darkest night can't last forever.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Hisoka shoved his gloved hands deeper into his coat pockets, tilting his head back to scowl at the grey sky overhead. "I really don't understand what you like about this weather," he muttered.  
  
Tsuzuki glanced sideways at his partner with a bemused smile. It was the first comment Hisoka had made all day. Something had put him in a darker mood than usual, and Tsuzuki hadn't the mettle to ask; though judging by the dark circles underscoring his unusually dull emerald eyes, it had something to do with those nightmares again.  
  
By contrast, Tsuzuki had been in a wonderful mood all day. Christmas was just around the corner, and the crisp sky had promised snowfall all afternoon. But as his mood steadily improved throughout the hours, it only served to blacken Hisoka's even further.  
  
"Aww, c'mon, Hisoka; Christmas snow is even better than the spring sakura. Haven't you ever seen it?"  
  
"I've seen snow before," Hisoka answered shortly.  
  
"No, no - Christmas snow."  
  
"Snow is snow," Hisoka growled. "It's cold and wet and miserable, okay? It makes travel impossible, it kills everything that's green and alive, it freezes the rivers, it sends all the animals into a sleep that borders on death. It's white and emotionless and miserable."  
  
"Not Christmas snow," Tsuzuki persisted stubbornly. "It's soft and gentle, beautiful and tenderly quiet. You'll see, Hisoka."  
  
Hisoka just shook his head, hunching his shoulders even further.  
  
They continued walking a while, and true to Tsuzuki's prediction, it wasn't long before it started to snow - big, fat flakes gently drifting from the gunmetal sky. And accordingly, as Tsuzuki's spirits soared, Hisoka's hit rock bottom.  
  
"Ahh, look, Hisoka!"  
  
"It's snow, Tsuzuki."  
  
"No, it isn't just snow! I'm going to prove it to you. C'mon!" He grabbed a hold of Hisoka's arm, and before the younger man could protest, had teleported them away.  
  
"What the hell are you doing?!" Hisoka snapped when his boots reconnected with solid ground, wrenching free of his hold. "Would you mind asking me before you just spirit me away somewhere?! Damnit, Tsuzuki!"  
  
"Sorry, Hisoka," Tsuzuki murmured soothingly, sporting a sheepish smile. "But I wanted you to see this place. It's my favorite place in the whole world, especially at this time of year. Look!"  
  
Hisoka crossed his arms irritably across his chest, but he grudgingly turned to look out across the plain. It had been snowing for a while here, was snowing still, and as cold as it was, as blandly snow-draped, Hisoka could see how the place could have potential. Still, the prowling wind stung his exposed skin, and the wet snow sank through his clothes and numbed his feet. It was still cold, wet, and miserable.  
  
Hisoka was about to say as much, when a pair of strong arms encircled him from behind. Hisoka tensed as Tsuzuki's emotions surged around him, his first instinct to break away as quickly as possible. But Tsuzuki had anticipated these thoughts, and held on tightly.  
  
"Relax," he murmured softly in Hisoka's ear, and the wave of foreign emotions faded away. "I know you don't like to be touched. I put a block up ."  
  
"What are you doing?" Hisoka asked warily, his tone low. But he didn't try to pull away.  
  
"Proving a point, Hisoka. I'm going to show you why Christmas snow is better than regular snow."  
  
". I don't understand."  
  
"And you won't, unless you relax."  
  
It took a while, but Hisoka willed it of his uncertain muscles and Tsuzuki was patient. When Hisoka's head finally settled back against his chest, Tsuzuki knew they were as far as they were going to get and counted it a success.  
  
". I still don't understand."  
  
"Shh, listen."  
  
"I don't hear anything."  
  
"That's the point. Shh . Clear your thoughts - you think too much. Just concentrate on what's around you," Tsuzuki coaxed gently, his soft voice a warm caress against Hisoka's ear. It terrified him, but as a gesture of good will, Hisoka made a valiant attempt to comply with the tender instructions.  
  
He was an empath, so it wasn't hard for him to concentrate on the subliminal. And as he did so, he became aware of the silence, not cold and forbidding in the way that silence usually was, but calming, sheltering and soothing. From a logical standpoint, the complete lack of sound was mystifying - no obtrusive hum of distant traffic, not even the faintest buzz of hushed conversation. It was the sort of stillness that could be paralyzing and terrifying when taken in alone - but he wasn't alone. There was a pair of strong arms about his waist, a set of gloved hands linked with an affable familiarity with his own. The one person whom he found himself trusting explicitly, no matter how hard he tried not to, was here with him now, his presence a warm reassurance at the edge of his consciousness. And yes, God help him, there was comfort in that. Here within this sheltering embrace the silence became something different. He felt it seep into the very marrow of his bones, a balm that stole softly around his heart to soothe its ache and uncertainty, a presence that chased away all thoughts of dampness and chilling cold. He found himself quite in awe of it, and as his harsh gaze of emerald glass fell to the still field swaddled in its blanket of pristine white, something within him softened. It was beautiful - pure and unsullied, undisturbed by the chaos of fate or the destructive hand of man.  
  
"Do you see, Hisoka?" Tsuzuki asked softly, his voice somehow not disturbing the peaceful quiet. Hisoka just nodded, not trusting his own to do the same. "Christmas snow is more beautiful because no one's alone at Christmas time. People are kinder, and they finally think to stop and admire its simple beauty. There's a sort of magic in the air, and it comes with the snowfall. Do you feel it?"  
  
"Yes," Hisoka whispered, not venturing a louder decibel, not wanting to break the spell. ". But I never had before. I always hated Christmas, and the bleak, cold storms, because . because I was always alone."  
  
This confession was delivered in a flat, emotionless dead-pan, but Tsuzuki sensed the pain behind the words. Hisoka felt the arms around him tighten, pulling him close against the sheltering warmth of his taller partner's frame. Slender fingers locked through his, a soft cheek nestling against his frosted hair. His first instinct, as always, was panic, and fear; but the embrace was comforting, not oppressive, and still enthralled by the spell of this place - this man - Hisoka allowed himself to relax, and for one precious moment, abandon his fierce guard.  
  
"You never have to be alone anymore," Tsuzuki murmured softly, and the feel of his misty breath against Hisoka's cold cheek evoked a pleasant shiver. "You never have to be alone when you're with me."  
  
Hisoka said nothing, but it was enough.  
  
They stood that way for a long time, just watching the snow fall and listening to the silence. It was Hisoka who first broke the embrace, turning to face Tsuzuki as the older man reluctantly allowed his arms to slip back to his sides. But as Hisoka tilted his head back towards Tsuzuki, the faint light caught the unmistakable sheen of tears on his pale cheeks, and those hands lifted of their own accord to gently grasp the boy's slender shoulders. "Na-nani? Hisoka, what's wrong?"  
  
Hisoka shook his head once, and then - was it just a trick of the light? - a soft smile stole across his lips. "Arigatou, Tsuzuki . this is the best . well, the only - no, the best Christmas present anyone's ever given me. And I just . thank you."  
  
No longer caring if it was taboo, Tsuzuki caught his partner up tightly in his arms again, hugging him with all the strength in his heart. And, though hesitantly at first, Hisoka's own arms stole around his partner's back, hands fisting in the black material of his coat as he nestled his cheek against Tsuzuki's chest.  
  
"I haven't given you anything that wasn't inside you already," Tsuzuki protested softly, though he made no move to loosen his hold.  
  
"Perhaps. But if you hadn't . hadn't given me this, I never would've found it."  
  
Tsuzuki said nothing . but it was enough.  
  
Just this, right here, right now, just this was enough. 


End file.
